Japanese Women Think Unmarried Men Over 36 Must Have Issues

Japan -- Do men have issues if they're over 36 and still not married?

Do men have issues if they’re over 36 and still not married?

A recent article on a women’s dating advice site suggests that if men are over 36 and still not married or with someone they intend to marry, then they must have some kind of problem. The writer then went on to list what some of these potential problems might be, saying that women should be vigilant when dating a man approaching 40.

When the article was reposted on 2ch.net, you can imagine that the mainly male audience had something to say about the article. Interestingly, many of the comments highlighted the fact that some men are happy as they are, and see marriage as an intrusion on their free time, while others simply pointed out that women over a certain age may also be harboring some personality issues.

From AM:

Ha Chu Tells Us What Women Really Think: Is There Something Up With Men Over 36 Who Aren’t Married…?

A love advice column by Ito Haruka (Ha Chu), chief editor of the beauty coupon site ‘Kirei Navi’

Key points you should check when dating a man around 40.

dating-japanese-men-over-40-02 (2)

On a girls’ night, we started talking about ‘Whether a man over 36 who is not married definitely has ‘something’ going on.

Even when I tried googling at what age men were still considered ‘eligible’ for marriage, it wasn’t clear, but most of my male friends thought they’d ‘like to get married between 33 and 36’. Still, while I personally don’t think it’s all that bad, as it happens, on the night when we were discussing it, the theory that ‘If men are over 36 and not married, *or* have no partner they’re thinking about marrying, then there’s something up’ won out.

Saying that there ‘something up’ is completely a woman’s point of view, so I think that it has probably never even occurred to these guys that they have issues, but if I give a few examples:

・ They have the kind of temperament where they can’t really love a woman ← They are more important than their girlfriend.

・ They have no desire to get married in the first place. ← But a lot of these men paradoxically want children.

・ They don’t earn much ← Freeters and so on (A lot of them want to be musicians and artists)

・ They’ve got wanderlust ← They’ll suddenly want to go around the world.

・ They’ve got Oedipus complex ← This includes guys who live with their mothers.

・ They’re in a business where they can’t get married ← Idols and so on.

・They’re dreamers ← The pattern is that they won’t get married until they’ve fulfilled their dreams.

・They have huge issues with their personalities, like being violent, not being able to handle alcohol ← I hate these the most.

・ They’re too enthusiastic about things ← the object of their enthusiasm can be anything from cars to work.

・ They’ve got an ex-wife ← You can’t know they have an ex unless it’s written on their face.

・ They have some weird personality quirks ← Some problem where their previous girlfriends were left depressed every night.

And so on and so on.

Japan marriage men

He may not be saving up for his wedding.

There are all kinds of patterns, but at any rate, it seems that women uniformly think that there is always ‘a reason they can’t get married’ and ‘a reason previous girlfriends didn’t marry them’, so we should take care. The reason for this is because we can’t afford to waste time.

As my girls and I went home, we all kept in mind that when dating a man over 36, identify the reason why he’s not married, and think about whether or not it’s a deal breaker! Then you can start talking!

The last time I met *that* handsome guy, he was totally in love with his new girlfriend, and was all like ‘Guys, I want to see my girlfriend so I’m going home early!’, and was leaving all the drinking parties first. In the space of only a few months, the situation has changed rapidly. ‘I broke up with her, but we’re not like completely broken up, so it’s difficult…’. And now, to escape from his ex-girlfriend, he’s discussing things with a lawyer.

While they were going out, realising that his girlfriend had a few issues with her personality, he said he wanted to break up, and it seems that she turned into a stalker.

‘She was letting herself into my house, and I was frightened to go home, I’d go home every night while on the phone to a friend, and when I got inside my room I’d check high and low, even looking under the bed.’

Scary. What the hell. So frightening.

That night, I quietly added ‘Make sure his ex isn’t a psycho’ to my ‘Men around forty checklist’.

Comments from 2ch.net:


Shut the fuck up.


Isn’t it the same for women too?


For real! Apart from the ex-wife thing, they’re all spot-on, aren’t they?


Well, even guys who are married have issues, if they get to 36…


I want to watch films, listen to music, use my PC, read and write, ride my bike, and if someone is by my side it’s going to piss me off.


Both men and women have issues if they’re unmarried and over thirty, they’re the ones left on the shelf.


It’s the end when you’re being told that by a dried-up old hag.


Women over 26 who are still single are the ones with problems.


In the old days, it was normal for men to get married once they were in their thirties.


For women it’s 29. Once they’re 30, they’re out.


I don’t want to hand over my hard-earned cash to someone else.


Hmm, I can’t disagree with that. I also felt that it’s the same for women, once they’re over thirty they have issues.


I’m married and I also have kids, but no matter what I’m always the most important. And I think that’s perfectly reasonable.


Why is this just limited to men?


I don’t get the point of getting married. Where’s the value in looking after a woman who’s only going to get older, particularly when you’ve got money of your own!? Plus it’s fun to go out with young girls and then dump them when you get fed up ♪


I have no desire to get married but am I going to be criticized by people saying I have to marry? I guess that minorities are always going to get persecuted, like the gays.


Women are really more trouble than they’re worth. That’s the answer.


I can’t deny what she’s said, but it pisses me off.


In the case of women, if they’re over 36 and don’t have children, no one will say anything because they feel sorry for them.

Share This Article
Help us maintain a vibrant and dynamic discussion section that is accessible and enjoyable to the majority of our readers. Please review our Comment Policy »
  • wafflestomp

    Bitches have issues to. If a woman is 36 and unmarried she is a “brave” woman who’s saving herself etc etc.

    Bitches be crazy.

    • Rutim

      This quote fits perfectly the the situation of women in Japanese pretty much:


  • god

    dont worry men think there are issues with women over 36 that arent married too. they are even thought less off if they are unmarried with child.

  • Cleo

    what a cynical situation the Japanese are in


      I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment. It would be better if the Japanese stop reproducing entirely and the Chinese can populate Japan.

      • linette lee

        You are guilty of not doing your job to procreate more japanese babies and pay japan gov’t tax. Get out of China and go back to Japan to get marry to a japanese woman and have 10 japanese kids and pay tax. Your country needs your service. China has a lot of internal problems. The last thing they need to do is make more babies. Fix the dame rural living condition and control populaton.

        China chinese are dying to get out of china. You foreigners go to china to live? hahahahha.. lol XD.


          I’m not in China, I’m in the US. I’m going to get married to a Chinese girl soon and we’ll have half Chinese, half Japanese kids. Other guys can have the Japanese girls. I don’t even particularly like Japanese girls, I like Chinese girls much better. They just fit my personality better and overall they’re better looking.

          • linette lee

            Very soon chinese will be spoken in every country just like english and spanish. So many people with chinese blood. Like thai-chinese, fino-chinese, viet-chinese…Chinese must be the most diverse blood in the world.


            No it won’t, English will remain the dominant language for the forseeable future. China may have the numbers but they just don’t have the cultural power to make people want or need to learn Chinese. That’s just fact. Just look at the number of people who speak English as a second language throughout the world and compare them to the number of people who speak Chinese as a second language. English is by far the more popular language. English is the lingua franca of the world. I’d actually rather have an asian language dominate the world rather than English but I don’t think it will happen anytime soon.

          • linette lee

            Make sure your kids know english and hanzi 漢字.
            漢字 is useful in both chinese and japanese. They will thank you when they are adults.


          • dk2020

            He’s probably really Americanized and doesn’t know how to speak or write Japanese .. most Nisei I’ve met are, same with some gyopos and ABC’s .. that’s assimilation in America ..

          • linette lee

            assimilation in America don’t mean you give up the ability of second or third language. Most European can speak or write more than one language. The chinese I know they all read and write english, chinese and spanish in USA . It’s how you educate your kids.


            Easier said than done Linette, most immigrants to the US, no matter who they are, lose the ability to speak their native tongue after the second generation. Part of the reason is that English is the dominant language in the world so few families feel the need to teach their children their ancestral language. Do you think Americans of European, African or Hispanic descent know how to speak their ancestral language after the 2nd generation? Most of them don’t.


            You are correct, I don’t know how to speak and write Japanese. I took Japanese language classes but forgot most of it as my parents also speak English. Most immigrants to the US lose the ability to speak their “native” language after the 2nd generation. Those that can speak it usually learn through formal education, not at home. I grew up surrounded by mostly other Asian-Americans and Polynesians so I’m not a typical white-washed Asian-American if that’s what you mean by “Americanized”

          • dk2020

            Sall good bro .. and yeah I can definitely relate .. i grew up with mostly Filipinos Koreans and Japanese in Ktown and Gardena .. I don’t have the animosity against other Asians like how it is in East Asia .. that’s the culture of saving face and competitiveness over there ..

          • dk2020

            Chinese is hella confusing and an ugly sounding tonal language .. it won’t be popular worldwide .. and with the island disputes with the Phils and Vietnam .. Chinese are getting more resentment and enemies in SE Asia being a bully ..

          • linette lee

            No it’s not. Mandarin sounds much prettier than korean. Korean is just kimkumkimkum,sound angry. Mandarin is shilashilashila very smooth. You know nothing. You can’t even read hanzi漢字. All asian language originated from 漢字 Chinese. Cantonese is harsh but in Hong kong a lot of half viet and half thai speaking it with their heavy viet and thai accent. Sort of like indian speaking english. Like American english don’t sound nice because people speak it with their own accent. British english is nicer. Mandarin is our universal language for the chinese. No necesito aprender a hablar leer y escribir en coreano. El idioma de coreano es no muy importante. Better go learn english,spanish, or chinese.




          • dk2020

            You live in Hong Kong, brainwashed by the PRC smh, and thats your personal opinion .. why do you think Kpop is popular globally instead of Cpop? Ask any non Chinese .. I’ve had plenty of Latinas including my hyna tell me Korean and Japanese is much prettier languages than Viet Mandarin or Cantonese because tonal languages are harsh and Hanzi is so confusing and hard to learn compared to Hangul lols.. you’re so insecure and ignorant Linette .. mas puto chino cochino ahaha just because I speak a lil Spanglish and have Latinos in my immediate family .. you try to copy me thats lame af .. you really think I’m insulted moron? damn fobs are hilarious ..

          • linette lee

            And so why so many foreigners are learning chinese if it is so horrible and hard to learn. I am sure you are aware in USA some public school have Spanish, french, or chinese teach as second language.
            And there goes your kpop obsessed again. Who said it’s global. You koreans? So global the kpop stars are making as much money as Gaga and jay chou right? hahahah..lol. You know what’s global? the chinese film industry is global. Go check how many awards chinese directors and films won in other countries. you jeally.. 😉

          • dk2020

            smh .. I guess you would have to actually live in a foreign country to know babosa .. ang lee is taiwanese and he’s got in alot of controversy because he didn’t pay the vfx company for life of pi .. I thought chinese were mad at him because he kept thanking taiwan instead of chinese taipei? lols .. you know taiwan hates the prc right?

          • linette lee

            Taiwan, china, singapore, hong kong…don’t matter all chinese. Just different in culture and politics.

            Is this you? angry korean boy. hahaha..lol.
            It’s too late..it’s too late..I can’t breath…hahaha…


          • dk2020

            not all chinese are the same .. not all koreans are the same .. not all japanese are the same .. you ignorant racist fobs in east asia need to quit with that narrow minded thinking ..

          • chucky3176

            dk2020, take out that disgusting looking monkey face photo. I almost barfed looking at that avatar. lol…

          • dk2020

            그녀는 남자처럼 보여! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ!

            I admit I come on kBang and jCrush to troll now ahaha ..

          • linette lee

            That’s not even me.
            I troll also.

          • dk2020

            LMAOOOO .. now u deny this isn’t you? smh .. baichi ..

          • besudesu

            dk, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to take Linette’s avatar. Same goes for Chucky. What is the point of making things personal like this? It will just go on and on, and spoil the thread for people who are actually interested in the issue at hand. I’d suggest that you change it back, and be part of the community again, like I always thought you were.

          • linette lee

            hey faggot. where is your faggot photo? lol.

            Trolling without your faggot photo is just not fun.

          • besudesu

            Linette, if you don’t want others to offend you, you have to stop using such offensive language yourself.

          • linette lee

            This is his statement :
            ……….take out that disgusting looking monkey face photo. I almost barfed looking at that avatar. lol…

            This is my reply:
            ………..hey faggot. where is your faggot photo…….
            I only reply offensively when people talk like monkey and behave one.

          • William Hung Kinda Ugly

            Singapore is a multi-ethnic country with English being the most common language. Malay was chosen as the national language by the Singaporean government. No they aren’t Chinese. They are Singaporeans.

          • dk2020

            Singaporeans deny they are ethnically originally Chinese like the Taiwanese now? The nationality you identify with is different ..

          • William Hung Kinda Ugly

            Singapore was never Chinese to begin with. It was built by some Hindu. The modern Singapore was built by the British. Chinese are only immigrants that came later. It’s a multi-ethnic country with diverse religion and culture. Chinese is the majority group but that’s about to change with low fertility rate. In about 20 years you’ll see more Indians and Malays there.

          • Singaporeans are roughly 75% ethnically Chinese, and identify culturally as such. As of 2010, 32.6% speak English at home; 47.7% speak Mandarin at home; and 19.2% speak other Chinese languages at home. Yes, they are (mostly) Chinese, and yes, they’re also Singaporean.

          • linette lee

            This William Hung Kinda Ugly or bigwin80 Korean dude is constantly changing his screen name and hiding behind the keyboard without a photo making derogatory statements against my people. Just by reading his comments you know he has zero knowledge making false statements. And when I argue with him all he does is keep bringing up kpop. hahhahaa…lol.

          • Guest

            Singaporeans are bilingual. English is Singapore’s lingua franca, the working/main language. At school, English is taught as their first language and mother tongue second. They sing their national anthem in Malays while the Chinese make up the demographic majority. It’s an interesting country. It’s an epitome of a multi-ethnic, multicultural, multilingual country.

          • Thank you for stating the obvious…

          • William Hung Kinda Ugly

            Change your name to Delusional Linette Lee. Most of the Americans choose Spanish as their second language. Chinese is in the minority and most of the people that do choose Chinese are either A ethnically Chinese B people who is planning to do business there. It might sound beautiful to but from a 3rd person view, it’s a difficult, harsh, ugly sounding language where people make fun of you if you speak out loud in the public. Gaga is making a lot of money globally, however Jay Chou whoever that guy is only making money in China.

          • Wang that!

            No Jelly here Down’s Linette and the reason is pretty obvious… also the same reason’s people studied Japanese in the 80’s… To not get scammed… In this case, by Chinese and right as rain it did me some good. Reading/writing is not needed…

            I fired a group 6 of HK based software engineers for trying to BS their way out of work and dropped a JV partner based in Shenzhen for trying to swap out agreed materials for lesser quality alternatives.

            Dropping of the JV also included firing of an HK based manager who talk a lot of BS (pretty common thing I noticed about Honger’s). That was also tried to skim off the numbers as well.

            Good thing I never approved the production run and nit picked the shit our the prototype and FW for the HW…

            6 month process and 5 months they thought I knew nothing and even went as far as to give me a nickname. They really thought they were clever until I opened a meeting in bird language (Cantonese) and addressed myself by the nickname… So many “ah solly sir’s” after that… and the finger pointing… Personal opinion, Honger’s know nothing about accountability…

          • William Hung Kinda Ugly

            Chinese all sounds the same. Throw pots and pans down the stairs and that’s Chinese for you. Mandarin sounds like ching chong ping pong feng shang tang. It’s also like a computer language. Computer has 1 0, Chinese has Ching Chong.

            101110 would read Ching Chong Ching Ching Ching Chong.

            Joke asides q:) Are you sure all Asian language originated from China? Since last time I checked Chinese are tonal language completely different from Korea, Japan, and Central Asia which are all non-tonal language with subject–object–verb order, which is also completely different.

            SEA also uses tonal language like the Chinese except they don’t sound as harsh and is easier on the ear.

          • linette lee

            What about your language? People make fun of you people when you guys speak. So ugly and harsh. Like fighting.

          • How the hell is Mandarin––not to mention Hokkien/Taiwanese and Hakka––more harsh than Vietnamese?

          • dk2020

            japanese girls are better looking than chinese girls u tripping smh .. well in SoCal where I’m from .. chinese girls are loud and bossy and love complaining at restaurants ahaha .. so you’re nisei?

          • linette lee

            chinese girls are loud and bossy…………..

            You must be surrounding yourself with dumb people. You know like attracts like. None of my chinese girlfriends are loud and bossy. All of them are well behave and highly educated and very independent.

          • dk2020

            lmao again thats easy to say in hong kong .. come to san gabriel and mpk and see how ratchet they act .. oh but then you say it’s because they’re ABC huh? like my new avatar linette? damn your face is so shiny and you need to shave your mustache .. if you’re the example of a pretty and intelligent Chinese girl you prove my point, you seem bossy and loud yourself lol smh .. u kinda look like a tranny .. cheap pink tshirt and lipstick .. your hair has a bad dye job too ..

          • Guest

            new iron man .. the main enemigo is supposed to be the mandarin and he ain’t chinese dammit .. china #1 china powerrrrr! rawr!

          • linette lee

            Iron man film company was trying to cast Andy lau to play the villain role mandarin. But Andy turned it down because of his schedule. Andy is very famous in the Chinese film industry. That will boost Iron man box office in chinese entertainment industry.


          • linette lee

            They are not ABC. Why Abc? All chinese that work in USA are ABC? Majority of them are not. They all fly back and forth to usa and to other asia countries like hong kong, taiwan, singapore, shanghai. You don’t know anything except LA.

            That’s a at home pajama look. You don’t like it. lol. You crazy.

          • dk2020

            Sure Linette, u look like u ready to go out with that pic .. dude, I really doubt all the ABC’s can afford Chinese schools on weekends to learn the language, or flying back and forth to Asia thats expensive .. I’ve only visited twice for a month in my life ..


            I’m sansei, nisei is 2nd generation. I just like the rounder, fuller, cuter faces of Chinese girls and their personalities too, it’s a totally subjective opinion of course. I kind of like women who are a little loud and bossy, I don’t like quiet, submissive women. BTW why are you using Linette’s picture?

          • dk2020

            oic .. yeah its all subjective I agree and I guess I’m just defensive of my japanese ex gf’s ahaha they weren’t submissive either, neither are korean girls. I got linette’s pic up to troll her because she looks like a troll lol ..

          • William Hung Kinda Ugly

            It’s like comparing horse urine to a fine wine. Of course Japanese girls are better looking.

          • chucky3176

            Then you’ll love linette lee. Take a look at her… lol…


          • William Hung Kinda Ugly

            Daaaamn. No offense but that’s the ugliest living thing I’ve seen in my life time and trust me I’ve seen a lot of ugly people. q:-) Linette Lee has some serious balls to upload that pic or maybe she is delusional like all her posts suggest and thinks she is really pretty. Either way Kudos to her. Daaaaaamn.

          • besudesu

            Chucky, don’t make it personal. There’s no reason for you to post Linette’s avatar picture on this thread. I know that you guys troll each other continually, and I think that the mods are very tolerant, but it’s starting to get petty and hateful, and it’s unfair to everyone else who is completely disinterested in the child-like bullying that the three of you are engaging in.

          • chucky3176

            Alright, point taken. I’ll try to refrain from replying to her. But she really rubbed me the wrong way with her attacks. So I’ll skip reading all her posts from now on and ignore her.

          • Kai

            You guys are crossing the line, and knowingly doing so. We don’t care if you guys disagree with each other and don’t like each other personally, it happens, but the vomiting all over the comments with petty comment policy violations and then prancing about openly admitting to trolling is too much. This isn’t some isolated incident with you guys, it’s an ongoing trend and it is becoming disruptive of the comments section for other commenters as well.

            There are two parts to this equation. One side being inflammatory. The other side taking the bait and responding in kind. Both need to rein it in. It’s at a point where it doesnt matter who “started it first”.

          • linette lee

            besudesu and Kai, chucky has no right to post my avatar photo like this. That is harassment. I don’t think chucky would appreciate if I post his photo on facebook and weibo and his koreansentry site link.

            Please delete his comment along with the avatar photo. I don’t appreciate that. thank you.

          • besudesu

            The image had previously been deleted by Kai, Linette, but for some reason it still appeared along with Chucky’s comment. I have now deleted his post, so the problem should be solved.

          • chucky3176

            linette, you’re welcomed to post my picture at anywhere anytime you like. See if I care. (shrug).

          • linette lee

            I am not low class like you.

          • besudesu


          • Julie Nguyen

            Might be a little late but Congratulations on your marriage. I respect your opinion of preferring Chinese women over Japanese women but for me I think that it shouldn’t matter what race the person you love is. I believe that your probably not marrying your wife solely just because she’s Chinese but I just felt the need to comment about it.

  • Kate

    Not just Japanese men and women, pretty much any country. People generally believe that desireable mates marry and pair early in life, the leftovers are the ones who have issues and it goes for men and women. After child bearing age, women who are unmarried and childless are looked at even worse.

    • Loke

      “People generally believe that desireable mates marry and pair early in life”
      I dont know, studies show that people who marry early also have higher divorce rates.

  • “Shut the fuck up.”
    I agree~

  • cb4242

    I think Japanese women over the age of 36 have issues, one of them living with their parents and having them take care of them, not having responisbilies at home, while working, spending money on the latest fashion, going out with their friends and expecting men to do everything for them. That to me is a very serious issue.

  • hun

    masturbating feels better

  • Paul M

    Just another of those “must haves” people need to appear normal. Must have a car, must have a wife/husband, must have kids etc. If you don’t have any of these things by a certain age then people assume there’s something wrong with you.

  • k8

    I guess this is why Japanese girls like foreign guys so much. They’re nicer to them.

  • Relivash

    Well, I think marriage can be seen as sacrificing a bit of your freedom, so I don’t know if it’s just tge case that japanese men over 36 don’t feel like doing such a sacrifice.

  • People who try to generalize and criticize an entire group ought to take a good look in a mirror first. That’s usually where the actual problem lies.


    There’s a saying: before 30 years old it’s men who chase women, after 30 it’s women who chase men. Take that you old hags.

    • linette lee

      No, before 30 years old it’s men who chase women, after 30 it’s 45 or 50 yrs old men chasing women older than 30. Take that you old man. hahahah…lol XD


        With that comment I take it you’re over 30 or close to it. Do you have anyone chasing you Linette? Maybe some old men?

        • linette lee

          There are always old men chasing after me. Men chase after anything that has a punani XD.

          Why you go to China? What’s wrong living in Japan? Job opportunities? Go to USA or canada.


            Okay, looks like you’re popular with all the old perverts. I just said I live in the US not China, in my comment to you in your other post. I’d never live in Japan, as I would never fit in, I’m already 3rd generation American. I’m the nail that will stick out. I’ll go crazy living in Japan.

  • ChuckRamone

    One of the listed “issues” these men must have is that they have an unfulfilled dream? I don’t see that as an issue. Truly ambitious people are rare. Most people just care about being comfortable. If you can find someone who’s passionate about their dreams, try to keep that person in your life as a friend or even better your s.o.

  • Dating Coach

    It all boils perhaps on the culture and the beliefs they had. Basically, there is nothing wrong with men that age being unmarried as it can be attributed to various factors, one of which perhaps maybe a strong personal choice. If you need love and relationship advice, you can check my blog: http://coreevolve.com/blog/

  • Joe

    “a reason previous girlfriends didn’t marry them”. Is that a joke or a typo? Do you mean why they didn’t marry their previous girlfriends? There’s a big difference! I have avoided marriage on numerous occasions. 98 out of 100 times I’ve been the one to call it off. None of the reasons mentioned are why I’m not married. I live in NYC and have always loved being single and experiencing new connections — even if they are only for one night or a couple of weeks — I’ve thoroughly enjoyed them all. Now I am actually getting married, because this one is too good to let go 🙂

  • T-AKA B27

    Mgtow #MyOwnWay

Personals @ chinaSMACK - Meet people, make friends, find lovers? Don't be so serious!»